I don’t know much about nirvana; I hear it’s a state of complete happiness and peace and is achieved by being kind and good. I’m nowhere near reaching that state, but in the meantime I’ve reached a place that isn’t too bad if I may say so myself. Lest I come across as blowing my own trumpet, let me hasten to say that I didn’t come to this realization myself; rather I got it from an article written by one of my favorite writers Catherine Awuor: apparently I have reached a state of self actualization.
I don’t know about you all who’ve achieved nirvana, but I think self-actualization does sound sane, if only for the simple reason even I don’t fully understand what it means. What lecture would you prefer, “How to achieve nirvana” (yawn) or “The path to self- actualization”- pretty cool choice, isn’t it?
Let me tell this story better: my friend recently dumped her boyfriend who they have been through think and thin, in the dumping speech she told him the relationship was not working for her anymore he was becoming to obsessive, unreliable, unromantic and just not worth it and as their conversation soured, the boyfriend turned tables and took credit for the dumping scene and told her he didn’t feel her to and wanted to end it before( which of cause was a lie his ego was just bruised, and men don’t know how to deal with break –ups or being dumped for that matter). Isn’t that what they call defamation of character? Now, I wouldn’t mind having some girlfriend somewhere tell his boyfriend, “I love you because you are like Faisal Ssali,” or “Why don’t you become more like Faisal.”
I never imagined that the time my name made it into a conversation between lovers would be, “I am ending the relationship because you are like Faisal.” That is just cruel, especially as I’ve never dated her, so what does she know?
I did, however, quickly recover from my hurt when I discovered why he was being compared to me. Apparently he is also almost reaching a state of self-actualization. In becoming more like me he had become less dependent, spent a lot more time and money on things that mattered (if I made him like that, then I think am approaching sainthood) and he was no longer impressed by flashy cars and big houses probably bought on loans that are barely being repaid.(At this point I would like to say if a movie is made about the change I made in his life, I would like to have my part played by Michael Scorfield).
Seriously though, how utterly divine that something meant for an insult would end up making me feel good about myself?
I haven’t been able to get a good definition of self-actualization which suits me just fine because I get to make up my own:
~ Reaching a point where you can walk into a Chicken Tonight with the same grace you would a five star hotel, knowing full well where you eat doesn’t define you;
~ Taking the bus or taxi until you can afford to buy a car, rather than rushing to take a car loan that you can barely repay; and
~ Being comfortable with an inexpensive phone that is more about function than extras and aesthetics.
Isn’t it amazing how the same problems plague us regardless of how old we are?
The best thing about self-actualization (now that I am a self declared expert) is that it doesn’t matter what age you are, as long as you know where you are headed, you are set to go.
You know the best part about my new revelation of self-actualization? I could have the whole definition backwards, it probably means something different but that’s the beauty of MY self-actualization –it doesn’t really matter: it will mean what I want it to mean.